30 Columbia Turnpike
Florham Park, NJ 07932
Serving areas in Essex County, including Livingston, Short Hills Floraham Park, Milburn, Maplewood, West Orange, East Hanover, Caldwell
Therapy in Chester, NJ
Have you and your husband/wife/partner drifted apart?
Arguing more, unable compromise or communicate well?
Feeling unloved, unappreciated or resentful?
Romance or intimacy gone?
Devastated by your partners infidelity?
It’s distressing and disorienting when a marriage or relationship begins to unravel. When children are involved it gets even worse, real panic or anxiety can start to take over your daily life.
No matter the reason for things going wrong, you might be feeling deeply hurt, unprepared, shocked. You may even be feeling betrayed, desperate or ready to give up on the marriage or relationship.
Or perhaps your relationship isn’t in crisis at all and you just need a “tune-up” to help get it back on track before it gets worse.
I want you to know that it is completely normal to feel…
disappointed that your relationship feels different than it did
confused about what is happening
scared about what comes next
terrified about the possibility of being alone
profoundly hurt or sad about possibly losing someone you’ve loved
Prioritize Your Marriage
Once you have children, the way that you define yourself changes. While you likely have several characteristics that you could use to describe yourself, the one that you most likely name first or feel is the most defining is, parent. If you first and foremost describe yourself as a parent, you are probably a very loving, selfless and dedicated mother or father.
Affairs: Breaking or Remaking a Marital Relationship
Joe, a 52 year old business executive has been coming home late from work the past couple of weeks, sometimes forgetting to tell his 50 year old wife Jodi that he won't be home for dinner. He told her that he has new clients in town and that he needs to entertain them. What he didn't tell her was that his "client" Sue is a 35 year old blonde bombshell. Jodi never suspected anything because there was no reason to. He has always been faithful to her and she never had a doubt in her mind that he would cheat until last night.
Did your 50 year old husband buy an expensive sports car, attend a music festival with 20 something year olds or start shopping for clothes where your teenage son shops? Maybe he started going to bars and coming home late at night with his shirt smelling like perfume? You're baffled at his sudden change in his behavior and wonder what's going on. Perhaps he is going through a midlife crisis!
Few experiences are as rewarding as seeing the little birdies you've raised from chicks spread their wings and fly, whether they're on their way to school, getting married or simply ready to support themselves and live independently. While many parents in this situation may be gearing up to enjoy the extra time, privacy and space that accompanies this kind of change, it's very common for couples to also experience simultaneous feelings of anxiety, doubt and even some dread around wondering what happens next in the relationship when the kids are out of the house...."
If you are unhappy in your marriage, it can be heart wrenching to decide whether or not to end it. There are a ton of things to consider, but figuring out where to start can be challenging. Choosing to leave (or stay) will impact every area of your life. Here are some things to consider before making the big step. While you don't have to have definite answers for each of these questions, they are a good idea to think about.
When something is really good, we tend to hold onto it for dear life, especially when it comes to relationships. People are hardwired to desire human connection, so most can agree that they prefer to be in a relationship over being single. It feels like you've hit the jackpot when you find someone who you are compatible with, who you like and who likes you back. Because of how happy you are about this rare finding, and how wonderful things are in the beginning or maybe for a while, when the relationship goes sour, it is easy to try and convince yourself that this person is right for you....
When a cut is left open and is unprotected by a Band Aid, it is at risk of getting hurt by the outside world. Just the same, when people are open and unprotected by a guard or wall that they put up, they are at risk of getting hurt. However, while staying inside your house and on your couch at all times pretty much guarantees that you won't get hurt, it also guarantees that you won't experience anything great either...
I can help you reach a place where you know you’ll survive, even though right now it may not feel like you won't.
If you are determined to understand what happened, and to repair what’s possible to be fixed; I’ll be with you every step of the way. If you think it’s time to move on or even if you’re unsure, I’ll help you make the best choices for yourself and your kids.
Maybe you’ve been through a split already, and you’re having trouble picking up the pieces and recreating a new life. Family and friends have tried to help but that hasn’t brought you what you wanted.
Is co-parenting an issue? I can help you and your ex communicate more effectively for the sake of your children.
How do I know all this? It’s because I have personally “walked the talk.” I also have the professional background and skills to help your get through this difficult time in your life. I did it and you can too. Let me show you how.
Risa Simpson-Davis, LCSW, provides cognitive behavioral therapy for children, adolescents, adults, parents, couples, and families. Specialties include marriage counseling and relationship issues, divorce, parenting, depression, and anxiety. Other areas of interest include infidelity recovery counseling and coaching, women's issues, work/life balance, life transitions, adolescent and young adult issues, LGBT relationships, post-partum depression and adult ADHD in and around Chester, NJ.