Therapy in Chester, NJ
Since it is the end of the summer you've probably seen thousands of "back to school" commercials by now. This could elicit either very positive, very negative, or indifferent feelings for you and your children. In the case that you or your children are leaning toward the negative side, here are a few thoughts for you to consider when preparing for the back to school chaos.
A few days before the first day of school, is the perfect time to begin getting your kids back on a schedule. This can be gradual, but it is important to make bedtimes and wake up calls earlier, and start to get back on track with eating healthy meals around the same times you will be during the school year. Making this transition back into this schedule starting now is helpful so that it doesn’t feel as shocking to your kids and they will be less likely to be resistant come September.
Keep in mind that your schedule will change as well. You will have to pack lunches, prepare for time consuming after school activities, keep track of carpools and activity schedules, and help with homework, all on top of your regular routine that you’ve gotten used to the past couple of months. During this back to school transition, it is extra important that you focus on your time management and scheduling skills so that you don’t get too overwhelmed with the chaos.
Back to school shopping is likely the first thing your children think of at this time of year, and this can be a stressful event. To ease the pressure, set a dollar limit beforehand and stick to it to avoid tantrums and fighting in the department store. Allow your children to decide whether they want 5 cheaper pairs of jeans or 2 more expensive pairs for the same total price. Including them in the decision making process will decrease the chance of arguments and it will empower them and encourage independence and maturing.
Possibly the most important point I have for you today is to be prepared to make room for your children’s stressors. Most likely your job is consistent year round and you’re fully capable of handling your work, home, and personal stressors, but your children are preparing for a big transitional period which can be extremely tough emotionally and socially. (Note: the hardest transitions are typically pre-school to kindergarten, kindergarten to first grade, and then any year when you are switching to higher-level schools.)
Your children may feel nervous, anxious, or stressed about the unknown, their new teachers and classmates, leaving you for the first time in months, or about harder schoolwork. Maybe they’re getting a locker or switching classrooms for the first time, or lost touch with friends over the summer and they feel they need to make all new ones...all scenarios that can be quite anxiety provoking! Whatever the case may be, it is important that you are there for emotional and practical support, offering comfort and assistance while still allowing them the opportunity to be independent where you both see fit. In some instances, your own stressors may have to take the back burner so you can focus on your children’s.
Starting a new school year is also the time when school phobia is triggered most, so it is important to take note if your child is expressing any anxiety, nerves, or worries about leaving you or starting school (expressions can be verbal, or through play or art). If you think school phobia or refusal might become an issue, or already is an issue, reach out to your child’s case manager (if he or she is a classified student), guidance counselor, student assistant counselor, or the school social worker or psychologist for help in dealing with the refusal or phobia.
Back to school can be a very stressful time, but if you are mentally prepared for what is to come you can make the transition easier and more pleasant for both you and your children. If you could use help preparing for back to school, managing your children’s stressors, or dealing with school phobia, I am here to help!
Contact
Risa Simpson-Davis, LCSW
732-742-0329
[email protected]
www.risasimpsondavis.com