When you are asked what Thanksgiving means to you, 9 times out of 10 the response is something to the effect of a day to recognize and be grateful for all of your blessings in life. Not too hard of a question…giving thanks, it’s in the name! But when that third Thursday of November comes and goes, what is your perspective on what Thanksgiving means for the upcoming time of year?
It’s like the classic glass half full, half empty saying…there is more than one way to look at this time of year, and perspective matters! For example, you can see Thanksgiving as the opening day for the holiday season (positive!), or as the mark of the end of nice weather and the beginning of being locked inside in a long winter (negative!). Both are equally accurate, yet one can really bring you down and the other can ignite a spark in you.
You can think of Thanksgiving as the start of a very expensive month full of holiday shopping and hosting dinner parties, which in reality many of us can’t afford. Similarly, you might slip into the winter blues or a depressive state if you lack a partner or close family or friends during a time of year that is focused on relationships (Thanksgiving dinner with family, giving gifts to friends for the holidays, ringing in the new year with loved ones, and spending a romantic evening on Valentine’s Day with a partner).
While all of that may be true, if you change the way you look at things, the things you look at will change. Instead of focusing on the money you will spend on gifts, be thankful that you have so many people you care about and give the gift of an experience and quality time. There are many free or low-cost activity or date ideas floating around the internet that you can use as a gift.
If Thanksgiving has you realizing how lonely you have been feeling lately after your divorce or your children moved out of the house, take this opportunity to create a new tradition rather than dwell on the negatives. For e.g. Plan ahead and organize a potluck dinner party with coworkers for the winter holidays and get really involved in making decorations and arranging a gift exchange game.
However, you decide to look at what Thanksgiving means to you in terms of the upcoming season, try not to forget the true meaning of Thanksgiving. Instead of cutting turkey day short to get a head start on the Black Friday store lines, make a promise as a family or group to really make the day about spending time with loved ones and feeling thankful for what you have (not thinking about how to get the best deal on the newest television that you really don’t need).
But don’t worry, you won’t be at the back of all the lines because you spent extra time with family and friends…because you can skip Black Friday altogether and start a new tradition of giving back to the community at a food pantry or nursing home as a family. This way, you get to have two days of Thanksgiving’s feeling grateful/giving thanks/spreading the love aura! And then you can reward yourself with a full day of online shopping on Cyber Monday!
If Thanksgiving has you feeling blue or you are looking to change your perspective, I am here to help!
Contact
Risa Simpson-Davis, LCSW
www.risasimpsondavis.com