Last I've heard, Valentine's Day is a day to celebrate your loved ones, (although we should of course always be grateful for the wonderful people in our lives). As far as I am concerned, loved ones is an umbrella term--this could mean family, friends, teachers; really anyone who we care about--not just significant others.
However, Valentine's Day seems to spark a sometimes-painful reminder for those who are not in romantic relationships, that they are single. (Not to mention that being single then becomes a negative thing, when it does not have to be that way). If this holiday is a day to show extra appreciation and gratitude toward our loved ones, perhaps there is no sadness necessary. Just like we discussed in "The Perfectly 'Imperfect' Holiday" blog, you have the power to define this holiday for yourself.
There is always the option to not celebrate. So your heart isn't in it this year--not a big deal. Every year of your life is going to be different, and you are going to be different every year. Maybe you do not want to celebrate for personal reasons. Maybe you just don't care or feel like it. That's okay. Do what is going to make you happy. Maybe it's even celebrating yourself. It's a new year, and you've made it here! Celebrate that! Celebrate how wonderful you are--treat yourself to a massage, have a Netflix binge, buy yourself that box of chocolates that you deserve.
You can also choose to celebrate with your friends and family! It feels good to be with the people you love, who know you, and who you have a great time with. Have a girl's night in or head to a fun restaurant. Have a family game night. It does not matter what you do, for it is all about taking the day to remind yourself of the great company that you have been blessed with. You are a support system for them, and vice versa, and that's pretty special and most certainly a reason to celebrate.
When the stores have all turned pink and red and are overflowing with chocolates and "I love you" balloons, it is easy to feel pressured to have the perfect evening with your significant other or feel pain because you are not in a romantic relationship. However, try to take a step back and focus on who and what you do have, rather than who and what you do not have. Plus, let this day be a reminder that we should always be celebratory of ourselves and be appreciative of our loved ones.
And if you are really struggling with the whole Valentine's Day thing, try to remember that it is just one day, and then it is over. If you still are having difficulty letting it go, I am here to help!
Call Modern Family Counseling at 732-742-0329 for more information or to make an appointment with one of our therapists!