Therapy in Chester, NJ
We are so often caught up in all that we don't have. It is so easy to look at others and wish that we had their bodies, their relationships, their money to go on fancy vacations and buy fancy things, etc. It is more than fair to want things in life, but it is also important to remember that the grass isn't always greener, and that your grass is probably pretty great. We have no idea what's going on in other people's lives. The person who seems to have it all may be going through something that you wouldn't trade all of your problems for.
Being grateful for what you have is so important, and this time of year is the perfect time to stop dwelling on what we don't have and start appreciating all that we do have. It's okay if this does not necessarily come naturally to you. Everything takes practice. Here are some ways to help you along your journey of gratitude:
- Every day, write down 1-3 things you appreciate about your life or yourself. Value all of it and think about it all day or whenever you have a negative thought.
- Perhaps you don't make as much money as you would like to make, but you love your job. Focus on that second part. You have a job that you love! That's something to appreciate. Instead of wishing your body was thinner or taller or shorter or this or that, appreciate that you have legs that allow you to take a morning jog or arms that allow you to hold your child or lungs that allow you to breathe. Maybe you wish that you lived in a nicer house, but you could have no house at all. Appreciate that you have a roof over your head and somewhere you could safely and comfortably live.
- Enjoy the little things, and make them even bigger. There's no need to discount that morning cup of coffee. Enjoy that piping hot first sip, the comfort of a warm drink first thing in the morning, the energy that it's providing you with. Value sitting on the couch with your significant other. Value the smell of a candle that reminds you of cooking with your mom. Value a quick phone call with a close friend. Place a higher value on the "little" things.
- Try to avoid rigidity. Things don't always have to be so black and white. Family doesn't have to be a husband and wife, two kids and dog. It could be your friends, your grandparents, your boyfriend's family, your coworkers. Whoever makes you feel loved and brings you laughter and support and allows to be your best self…those people are your family. Success doesn't have to mean wealth and a high up position at your job. Every day you get up and do the day. You make it through. Maybe you are still standing despite some really tough times. Maybe you are surviving your 20's, a divorce, unemployment, a fight with a friend, mental illness, struggles in school. Define your own success.
- Don't fall under the "I'll be happy when…" spell. I know it's cliché to say that happiness is not a destination, but it's true. If you keep waiting for things to happen in order for you to be happy, you will never be satisfied. There will always be something that you wish was different or better, so appreciate the journey. Appreciate different parts of your days. The time to be happy and grateful is now.
Gratitude feels good. When you focus on how grateful you are, you feel more joy. This time of year in particular can be hard on some people, so do yourself a favor, and provide yourself with as much joy as possible…even if that means having to fake it till you make it. While it is of course okay to feel sad or angry (or any other emotion) sometimes, during this time of year just try a little extra hard to put a smile on and appreciate what you have. That smile can quickly become genuine and provide yourself with real feelings of happiness and gratitude, and you will thank yourself for it.
Sometimes having an attitude of gratitude is really difficult, especially if you are going through some hard times. As always, I am here to help!!
Call us at Modern Family Counseling at 732-742-0329 for more information about our services or to make an appointment with one of our therapists!
Wishing all of you a very Happy Thanksgiving!