Therapy in Chester, NJ and Florham Park, NJ
Valentine's Day is likely one of the most simultaneously loved and disliked holiday. It brings joy and excitement for some and sadness and angst for others. Perhaps where it all went wrong, is when someone spread the false message that Valentine's Day meant celebrating your significant other. We are free to create our own definitions of holidays, as well as our own traditions. Valentine's Day is meant for celebrating your loved ones and in whatever way you choose to do so. That could mean your husband or wife, boyfriend or girlfriend, best friends, children or other family members etc. If you love them, you can celebrate them! And please let's not forget about ourselves! Here are some tips on how to celebrate Valentine's Day your way:
Celebrate your loved ones, whomever they are - get dinner with a friend or call him/her if seeing each other cannot be arranged; send flowers to your mom; make plans with your sister.
The day does not have to be a grandiose extravaganza; having a significant other does not mean that you have to financially stress yourself out with gift-giving. It's about who you are with and what the two of you share. Make it your own. You don't have to spend a lot of money to show someone how much you love them. Remember why you are celebrating--it's about why and who, not how.
Appreciate what and who you have, rather than wishing for something or someone who you do not have. It feels much better to enjoy what you have.
Feel free to ignore the holiday altogether! You don't have to love or celebrate every single holiday. This is part of defining it and celebrating it your way. There is no rule stating that you have to acknowledge Valentine's Day at all.
Your relationship with yourself is a difficult one to build, strengthen, and take care of. It is constantly a work in progress. Celebrate how far you've come. While every day is a perfect opportunity to treat ourselves with the love and care that we deserve, why not take this day to give ourselves some extra positive attention and appreciation?
If you love the colors red and pink, then at the very least, it's a day to get festive in your favorite colors, decorate with hearts, and eat pretty chocolate. You can leave it at that!
This is a great opportunity to take note of how we not only get to define Valentine's Day on our own terms, but we have the right and the power to create our own definitions and meanings for anything and everything. Take matters into your own hands. Create meanings that fit your life and that will make you feel good.
For example, if Friday means date night to you and your friends, change that! Make Friday mean whatever you'd like it to mean - maybe Fridays are officially dedicated to a full night of catching up with friends at the trendiest cocktail bars, or perhaps it could be just staying home and watching a funny movie. Many might define "healthy eating" as eating your greens, avoiding sugar, and so on. However, you can decide what healthy eating means for you and your body. Healthy eating for you could mean intuitive eating--stopping when you are full or following your cravings, even if it means having the cookie that your body is telling you it wants.
When you define things on your own terms, you are living a life that works for you--your lifestyle, your physical health and your mental health. You don't share the same brain and body as anyone else, so living the same way that others do will not be beneficial or conducive to living as your best self.
If you need help redefining things that can make life work better for you I am always here to help!
Call us at Modern Family Counseling at 732-742-0329 for more information about our services or to schedule an appointment with one of our therapists!