Although social media is meant to be social, informative and fun, it's no secret that social media can have a negative influence on our days and our mental health. It can create a false sense of reality, induce stress, lead to insecurities, and cause "FOMO," or the fear of missing out. The pressures that stem from social media can manifest in social anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, eating disorders and so on. While the pressure can and likely does affect everyone in some way, it can be especially challenging for teens. Teenagers are at a period in their lives in which there is increased pressure to fit in, and the demands of society are especially overcoming, overbearing and difficult to manage - they are often felt more harshly and heavily.
Luckily, there are ways in which you can help your teen manage and reduce this stress and anxiety without cutting them off from social media completely. Retracting their total social media privileges is not necessarily the answer, for they may feel even more disconnected from their peers - this could be much more detrimental than helpful. While social media has its drawbacks, it does allow for social connection, which humans are hardwired to desire and need.
Have open communication about the pressures that come from social media - explain to your teens the ways social media can impact us negatively. Be empathetic - express that you understand their need to connect with their peers and keep up with their favorite celebrities, but also let them know that you are there if they need to talk about their feelings surrounding societal pressures. Tell them that you hear and understand their struggles that come along with this new technology/access to the world. While technology was not like this when you were growing up, recognize that this is the reality now, and the anxiety/stress that comes from social media is very very real. Your child needs you and without judgment. It is important that he or she feels understood.
- Ask some specific open-ended questions, such as, what do you think would happen if you unfollowed that group of girls on Instagram? Or, how do you feel when you see pictures of your favorite super model or your friend's Facebook status? Encourage using social media in ways other than simply scrolling and looking at other people's photos. Create a challenge or project - for example, have them scroll through Tumblr and find photos that represent themselves or inspire them - offer to have them printed so he or she could make a collage.
Remind them of the realities of social media - that they are not seeing the whole picture, that often the perfect pictures are staged and created solely for the purpose of Instagram. Remind them that people only put up their favorite pictures of themselves from their happiest times. People typically do not put up pictures from a bad day or a moment when they don't feel like their best self.
- Suggest that they temporarily remove a social media app. that is causing them distress. There are always other apps that could be more helpful than hurtful.
Introduce them to more positive accounts, such as an account for body positivity, mindfulness, motivational or inspiring apps or even apps with peaceful and beautiful scenery - try to ensure that they are not solely following accounts that could possibly negatively trigger or influence them.
Social media can be a great source of happiness, connection, and feeling of inclusion. For those times that it is not facilitating joy, ensure that your teen knows that these feelings are normal. Let them know that you are here for them and that it could be a great idea to seek help in easing the pressure and using social media in a healthy way.
If social media is causing your child anxiety or other negative feelings that interfere and disrupt their daily life I am always here to help.
Call us at Modern Family Counseling at 732-742-0329 for more information about our services or to schedule an appointment with our therapists!