Therapy in Chester, NJ
Now that it is officially summer and school is out, it seems like the perfect time to share with you my Parents’ Guide to Surviving the Summer. Unless you are going to rely on camps or nannies, both of which can be very expensive, it is likely that you a little over two months of free time with your children ahead, and not much planned for how to survive it.
The suggestions I have are more geared toward stay-at-home parents, those who work from home, or those who are likely to spend more hours at home with their children than they do during the school year, but of course all are encouraged to read!
While it may seem pessimistic of me to suggest that parents need a guide for surviving free time with their children, in reality, the excitement of summer will only get you so far. When the honeymoon period is over (probably after about 1-2 weeks), parents are likely to be exhausted and out of ideas for how to entertain their children while they try to get some work around the house done. You will quickly be overwhelmed by constant snack breaks, carpooling, play dates at the house, “I’m bored” and “play with me” comments, and extra messes to clean up.
So how does a parent survive a whole summer at home with children, without spending a fortune on nannies, camps, or other entertainment? Here is my Survival Guide to help you make it through the next 8+ weeks…
Use a reward system to encourage good behavior. Allow your kids to earn points or stars for being a good sibling, cleaning up their toys, working on summer reading or math for an hour, or feeding the dog. Add up the points at the end of the day or week to earn privileges, a prize, or a special activity like going to the movies or to the beach. Encouraging positive behavior with rewards has been found to be more effective than punishing negative behavior with time-outs or taking away toys, so using a reward system is likely to help you have a less stressful summer.
Set up reoccurring play dates with a close and reliable friend. For example, on Mondays, you care for her children all day and on Wednesdays, she cares for your children all day. With these scheduled playdates, you can plan your week knowing that you have one full day to yourself to be productive.
Do your research about free events and activities in your area. Take advantage of free parks, lakes, festivals, carnivals, and even pet adoption events (think: an hour of playing with puppies). You can find free events by going to your town and county websites and checking the local newspapers. By having an exciting outing planned for your kids, you may be more likely to get good behavior leading up to the event if you use it as a special reward. Bonus points if you plan to go to the town fireworks or the park with multiple families so that it can be a play date for the adults, too!
Set up an activity schedule each day for your children so they know what to expect from the day. First craft time, then an hour of television, then errands with mom, next is lunch, and then outside play. If the kids behave well all day, then they can have ice cream for dessert. This way, you know how much time you have to do laundry before doing errands, and you know that they will be occupied with crafts and TV so you can be productive. Plus, children thrive on structure and predictability, so it will be easier for them to follow directions and stay on task if they have time limits and understand the plan for the day.
If you belong to the swim club or have your own pool, you can hire someone to teach your children how to swim so you get an hour to be productive while they get exercise and are learning under responsible supervision. You can have these swim lessons every day, twice a week, or once a week depending on how much you want to spend. Not only will this give you some time to prepare dinner while they learn the breaststroke, but this will also teach them water safety skillsso that you can eventually trust them to be in the pool without you holding or helping them.
The key to keeping children occupied and entertained (ultimately giving you some free time) is to be creative and mix things up. Easier said than done right? Sign up for a free account on Pinterest.com where you can search for kid-friendly games, crafts, meals, reward systems, outdoor activities, and more - then “pin” the ideas you like so you always have them saved for when you need some help being creative. You’re likely to find some activities that would interest your children and you so that spending the afternoon playing together is a true pleasure for everyone!
It is easy to get overwhelmed, exhausted and stressed out when you feel like you’re juggling a million things. In cases like this, you’re likely to prioritize tasks (housekeeping, watching the children) and give up on what seems less important (personal relaxation). In order to stay sane this summer, make your mental health a priority and schedule in self-care every day. This can be a yoga class, a 20-minute walk around the neighborhood, seeing your therapist, or taking a bubble bath. The better you are feeling about yourself, the more enjoyable your summer with your children will be!
If you could use help managing your children’s behavior or making your mental health a priority, I am here to help!
Contact
Risa Simpson-Davis, LCSW
732-742-0329