Not Stressing Over The Stress

Therapy in Chester, NJ

Stress management posts never go out of style...because unfortunately, stress never goes out of style (though we all know that it should). It seems like there is always something stressing us out--from the big things like work, family, relationships, health, and money, to the smaller things (that usually still feel big!) like finding time for doctors appointments, feeling the nagging need to go to the gym, that terrifying long to-do list, the fight with your friend or that breakout that showed up just in time for school pictures. Stress is not easy an easy emotion to experience, and managing it can be just as challenging, but life doesn't pause, so it is important to know how to manage the stress to make life more livable and pleasant. Here are some tips to help reduce the emotion that we hate the most.

• This one I cannot stress (pun intended) enough is SLEEP. Everything is worse and magnified when you do not get enough sleep. This includes both quality and quantity.
  • In terms of quality, before you go to sleep, turn your phone off or put your phone on airplane mode (if you use your phone as an alarm clock). Looking at your phone in the middle of the night or waking up mid-sleep to the sound of a text message or phone call is breaking up your sleep cycle when your body is not ready to wake up. The light of your phone also tells your brain that it is time to be awake. Plus, you never know what email or text message you are going to receive that is going to leave your mind ruminating. Before you know it, you're trying to figure out a work problem at 3am because you read an email in the middle of the night. To wind down before bed and help ensure a peaceful, restful sleep, try things like meditation, deep breathing, listen to soothing music, write down the things that you are grateful for, journal, etc.
     
  • In terms of quantity, it is so important to get enough sleep. Aim for 7-9 hours, (more towards the 8-9 mark if possible). While it may seem important to do one more hour of work, it is likely more important to get one more hour of sleep. You'll often find that the major issue you are trying to solve at night, has the most obvious solution when you look at it in the morning after a great night's sleep.
     
• I'm sure this is getting old to hear, but exercise is extremely beneficial for a person's mental health. Exercise releases endorphins, which trigger positive feelings and help reduce stress. Even taking a fast-paced walk can help! Time is often an issue when it comes to squeezing in a workout, but keep in mind that even a 20 minute walk can be helpful.
   
• Keep things in perspective. Usually when we think about all of the things that are stressing us out, we could see that no matter what happens, life will go on. Usually they are not life or death matters, so relieve yourself of some of the massive pressure that you are putting on yourself. Have faith that things will work out because they almost always do, and you are always going to be okay. There is no other choice!
  
  For example, when you make mistake at work that seems like a disaster, try not to panic--life will go on. When you are drowning in guilt from accidentally spending too much money one weekend, let it go. It happened, you enjoyed yourself, you learned from whatever mistake you feel that you've made, and life will go on. There are always worse things in the world. Perspective is key.
   
• Use your support networks. Life isn't easy, and no one should have to tackle it alone. Don't shy away from using the people who love you as support--whether it's a shoulder to cry on, someone to simply listen to you so that you could vent, someone to give you advice, or someone to come over and binge watch "Friends" with as a distraction. There is no shame in reaching out to friends, family or therapists for a little help. It can validate what you are going through. It reminds you that you are loved and have wonderful people in your life, which is more meaningful than practically anything. It just feels good to let it all out and have people there by your side.
   
• Tackle things one step at a time. It is impossible for a person to do a million things at once, and we have the habit of trying to control the things that we truly cannot control. All you can do is what is in your control, so let go of whatever is not. Let life handle that stuff. For what is in your control, make a to-do list, and approach it one bullet point at a time. When you just focus on what's in front of you, everything becomes much more manageable and not nearly as difficult and overwhelming as you thought. And it feels so good to check things off of that list. Be present, and don't look at the days to come, just the day that is yours right now
   
• Have boundaries. When you leave the office for the night, be done with work until the next day. When you are having "me" time or going to bed and don't want to be reachable, turn your phone off. When your friend constantly calls you while you're in the middle of family dinner, don't answer until you are finished and ready to talk. If you are invited to a get together that you really don't want to go to because you just want to stay in and read your book for a change, say no. You have to take care of yourself so that you can be the best version of you that is out there. By having boundaries, you are not being a worse coworker, friend, family member, etc.--you are taking care of yourself so that you can be the best possible coworker, friend, and family member.
  
  If you your stress level is unmanageable that it is interfering with your daily living, always remember I am here to help.

Call us at Modern Family Counseling at 732-742-0329 for more information about our services or to make an appointment with our therapists!