Is Your Relationship A Job?

All relationships have obstacles and difficult times. These are normal parts of a relationship that often promote growth. However, sometimes the issues become too big (to put it simply), and the partnership becomes toxic. If you find that you are working so hard to make this work, and it constantly feels like your relationship has become a very stressful job, it is important that you consider if this is right for you or if it is right for you because you don't want it not to be. Perhaps you don't want to lose someone that once made you so happy and that you've become so comfortable with having or maybe you are afraid to be alone and feel you may never find anyone else. While these thoughts are understandable, remember that sometimes the most difficult decisions, are the ones that can change your life the most - in a good way. Remember that not all relationships, just like friendships, are meant to be part of all of your life's chapters.

It is very difficult to let something go or to even admit that your relationship that you wanted to work so badly has become unhealthy. When you are so stuck in this job-like relationship, it can be very challenging to truly see it for what it is. Here are some ways to determine if your relationship has become a stressful job:

• Be objective. It's great to think about the good times; however, you can't filter out the bad. If you and your partner have tried to work through your relationship problems and nothing changes then it may be time to move on. Write everything down - the good and the bad, so that you can see it all on paper. Often when we see the bad right in front of our faces, or when we hear the bad out-loud, it can provide us with a lot of clarity.
• Pretend that you are your best friend, and she is going through what you are going through. What would you tell her? What would you want for her? Treat yourself with this same care.
• Write down your best qualities. 1) Is this who you are when you are around your partner - do these qualities shine? 2) If you are having trouble coming up with qualities that you like about yourself, this may in part be because your partner and relationship troubles have brought you to a place of lowered self-esteem and self-love, which is a definite sign that this relationship may be hurting you.
• Think about your day-to-day life. Are you usually happy or unhappy? What are the sources influencing either of these moods?
• Are you constantly worrying about every little thing when it comes to your partner/relationship?
• Do you often try to "fix" your partner?
• What do you need in a partner? Does the person you are with have those qualities?