What Month Do Most Divorces Occur?
August not only spells out the end of summer but it could also spell out the end of marriage! Believe it or not, August is the month that most divorces occur. Most couples believe that summer is the time to restart their marriage and come together as a family. After the long cold winter months, couples believe that summer is an opportunity to "pick up the pieces." Many people find that summer is a relaxed pace filled with vacations and more time spent with one another. Plus, there are more activities to do and plan for the summer!
On the flip side, this can also bring just the opposite. Summer can be very demanding which puts a lot of pressure on a marriage. Even planning a summer vacation can cause stress on a married couple. Couples who are already in distress put August as a deadline for their marriage to either "get better" or end.
Reasons Why Divorce is at a Peak in August
1. Couples think the summer break will fix their marriage and believe that the hot summer days may bring them closer together. But, for some couples that isn't the case and too much time together just reinforces the problems that were already present.
2. Couples don't like to uproot the kids schedule during the school year. It could effect their grades and/or their mental health.
3. Older children go off to college in August which leave many couples as empty nesters. Some couples who have had problems in their marriage for years decide to put a divorce on hold until the kids are out of the house. This is also a time for a couple to reflect on their marriage and it may make them realize that they grew apart and the only thing they still have in common are the kids.
3. August gives the family time to process, adjust and make plans before the school year begins and before the holiday season is upon them.
4. One of the reasons people get divorced is due to infidelity. People are more likely to meet others during the summer months. In the summer people tend to be much more active and willing to socialize.
Will this Vacation Save Our Marriage?
After the long stressful months of winter being locked in the house, Nick and Grace spent the month of May planning their family summer vacation to a tropical island. Over the last few months, Grace and Nick have not been getting along. They spent many nights fighting in front of their kids. At one point, Nick was sleeping on the couch. Nick and Grace were eager to spend two weeks together at a resort with their kids. Nick and Grace believed that the family vacation will save their marriage. Long and behold, it didn't. Grace found the vacation to be their "breaking point." Grace and Nick decided to file for divorce in the middle of August which would give the kids time to adjust before the start of the new school year.
During the divorce process Grace and Nick both found it helpful to seek divorce counseling separately so they could each work through the anger, hurt and resentment they had towards each other. Being less adversarial, it made working with the attorneys a little easier and the divorce process go smoother. Nick and Grace also found it to be very beneficial for the family to get into family therapy to help their children cope with their emotions and feelings around the separation. It was a safe place for their kids to heal and to process the changes and challenges that will come along with the new family dynamic.
1.) Separation and Divorce counseling helps you reflect and process your feelings about your marriage and divorce. It's a major life transition and an experienced divorce counselor can help you work through any confusion and concerns you have.
2.) You get to speak to a licensed professional who will not judge you! This is a very difficult time and you may be feeling angry, sad, and lonely. Some of you may even feel relieved. Your therapist is trained to use effective listening skills and be an ear for all your emotions that you are dealing with.
3.) Counseling can help you and your children cope with the changes in the family dynamic.
4.) Counseling can help you and your partner be sure about your divorce.
5.) Your counselor can provide you with psychoeducation about divorce so you don't have unrealistic expectations.
6.) Counseling can help you establish a parenting plan that can work for you and your partner.
7.) Counseling help rebuild your self-esteem and restore your hope for your future.
8.) Counseling can help with the process of forgiveness so you can let go of all the hurt and pain and make room in your heart for peace, love and joy.
9,) Counseling can help you communicate better with your ex-spouse concerning co-parenting, visitation, financial matters, setting boundaries etc.
10.) It is very easy during this time to let your divorce effect your physical and emotional health. Counseling can help with self-care.
It is very common if you and your family are struggling with the divorce process. Most people seek out counseling during the divorce and/or counseling after divorce. Family therapy is also recommended if you have kids .
If you and/or your family is struggling with separating or divorce we are here to help.
Risa Simpson-Davis, LCSW